Who am I?

Someone asked me this question expecting more than just a simple one ended sentence to sum up the details about me. Thinking about it, I've never just sat down and thought about it either. I know on a deeper subconscious the things that make me who I am but what are you, truly?

Think about it.



I could go into the obvious things. My name is Brooke and I'm female. I have long, brownish hair and tend to be quite tall for a girl. But the thing is, I don't see any of my physical features or objects I interact with to be who I am. Bodies are simply things our souls live in because it's our soul that is the entity of your being. So, explain my soul? I am merely a single, self-driven, goal-oriented individual that lacks a certain sense of fear the rest of the world seems to run by. Although, I do still become fearful over minor things like squishing a bug on the sidewalk (I sometimes take extreme measures to avoid the conflict) and also I am fearful of awkward situations and can't deal with them well except to try and make light of them all the time. Plus my face still turns as red as apples when I feel embarrassed and shy and I'm self conscious about it. I'm a very spiritual person. One that needs a lot of alone time to recharge my soul through creative expression. I also seem to run on opposites with many things about myself. For example... I sometimes like to be the center of attention when other times I am the quiet observer in the corner. My mind is constantly churning with new waves of energy but my biggest downfall is I sometimes get caught on other peoples waves and lose track of my own. I become worried of how others see me and that I may be judged before I have a chance to speak. I love to laugh and make others laugh (it's life's best medicine). I often feel the need to repress my feelings as to not hurt others. I feel most alive when I'm doing physical activity and living with the spirit of adventurism. Hiking, biking, canoeing, swimming, traveling, photographing, climbing trees, walking through open fields... just being outside. I'm a natural born dreamer with a big imagination and still a big kid at heart. I've made the conscious decision that I will never fully grow UP but rather grow and add to the things I've loved my entire life. The only time I can ever be mean to someone is if they hurt someone I know, betray me, or purposely make me mad. My natural behavior is extremely compassionate. I care deeply for people in my life to an extent that they may never know. I set myself high goals to reach, even if I may never see the summit. I still prefer to wear boots over high heels. I think more logically than emotionally. I often feel super awkward when someone compliments me. I see myself as a shining star in the night sky (in the least conceided way possible) that can help others guide their way through life with hope and happiness. I feel like I was put on this earth to make changes even on the smallest levels and so my main motivation is to never give up on all of these ups and downs about me to help this world be just a little bit more of a better place.



So, I challenge anyone to try and undergo this conversation with yourself. Who are you? What are you? Think past your physical appearances and realize what you feel inside.

meet my family

Bokeh effect + IKEA Lights + restless energy = Photoshoot of random items

Especially when you have a lovely new lens to play with. It's called a Helios lens. It's a Russian lens that has an extraordinary bokeh effect and the ability to capture light much like I usually see in my dreams. It sends shivers down my spine and makes my face hurt from smiling so much. That's when you know you did something right.

So, finally having the right adapter for it, I mounted it to my Canon 50D and took pictures of the lovely members of my family.





Meet Vincent.





Almost every photo you ever see of mine between 2009 and now has been taken with this lens. 1000's of pictures this lens has allowed me to take. We are best buddies. That's why he's named after my favorite painter, Vincent van Gogh.


Then we have Galileo.

He's pretty special because he allows me to stare endlessly into the moon and study its craters, nicks, and imperfections pretty close. I think of him as my telescope because I don't actually have one. And the name should be obvious.... Galileo is dubbed as the main founder of the telescope since he made such amazing improvements on society's earliest models. Besides, that guy was just a pure GENIUS. And that's what this lens is. I feel like Galileo must have been tortured being born in the time he was......

Then we have my speedlight. We kind of have a love/hate relationship. Hence the fact I haven't come up with a name for him yet and we've known each other for 2 years now. Maybe I should just call him a vampire from now on because he only works when he wants to as he's scared of certain places and drains batteries like the plague. But then I think of Twilight. And I hate Twilight. Fine - speedlight you're a zombie. Because I say so.



And then we have Holga. No creative name comingupage here (yeah... it's a real word... look it up *stares awkwardly*). I always thought the name sounded cool as it is. What photographer doesn't have one of these? Almost all the ones I know have one of these in their possession. I've had it for almost 2 years and still haven't even used the first roll of film....





Now we're just plummeting into randomness.








Good Night World

-Brooke-

Prayers to Japan

I just want to say that all my thoughts, hopes, and best wishes are all with Japan right now. My heart hurts seeing so many people living in such disaster. Not to mention all those suffering through the wars of the middle east as civil war breaks out amongst so many people. Governments fighting with their people even here in the states. Massive car crashes, fires, riots, and the global economy seems to be on the edge of disaster.

At least, this is what I observe from the news, internet articles, and the massive amounts of gossip I pick up from people around me. To say the least, there definitely is a lot of downhill skating right now.

National Geographic reported in their latest issue that the world population this year is set at 7 billion people. The average human being is a 28 year old Chinese male. There was an amazing chart and graph they included with the magazine that I sat and studied for almost an hour. Also in this issue they stated an urgency on the oil crisis..... "32 million barrels of oil a year come from South Belridge, CA which is only enough for 9 hours of world demand." We have the technologies and mind power to develope alternate fuels for our consumption. It's a shame that it's going to take the majority of the human population to experience a crisis before they see that there is a problem. Because one of these days, oil is going to be gone folks.

Despite all these odds, find a way to do your part. Don't let a crisis control your life and give you the enlightenment that you can be helping others as much as possible. Even if it's just a small conversation and smiles toward their direction. Leave the world a little brighter than what you left it.

If everyone did that, we wouldn't have all these problems our masses are dealing with.

[Except from mother nature....]

My heart is with you Japan.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask
ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't
serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant
to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”

DONT READ [but if you want to....]

I was driving home from work and I was really tired, hungry, and achey. I hadn't taken a break at all and it left me with all my levels feeling low (haaa you sims people will know what I mean). And just an FYI before I explain this to you.... I don't do any drugs, smoke anything of any kind, nor will you see me hardly ever drinking either.

And beware, this might sound confusing/weird.

Ok..... I was sitting at a stoplight, on my way home from work, when I just started thinking about my aching brain. In my spare moments like these while sitting at a stoplight, I usually contemplate the experiences my body feels like [any] weirdo and try to follow the feelings to it's origins and how it's effecting my subconscious. (yay for awareness!)

And THEN!



Out of no where, I had a huge feeling of detachment. A detachment between my soul and my body. I physically felt myself separated between the two and it lasted for a few minutes... even when I started driving again! Not like you see in a movie where you see some character physically staring at themselves walking around outside of their own body.... but it was all happening inside myself. Two separate entities. I had the vision or perspective from my soul and I felt my brain and my body was more like a machine. A home that I dwell within rather.

And it made me wonder...

When a child is conceived and the beauty of life happens.... do our souls just spawn like new cells or molecules that grow larger and larger with our bodies? Or is there a point in the stage of the baby's development where the soul enters from somewhere else??? A dimension our eyes and brains are unaware of? Maybe stored information in your DNA strand? Because it's obvious to me that your soul is clearly what defines you. Not the features of your face. Not the height you stand. Because ultimately those are all codes traded within huge DNA strands with each new generation. Your soul clearly parts you from everyone else.

So where does it really come from?

!?!?!?!

The question has driven me restless tonight.

In other news, I'm really liking this quote site a friend of a friend showed me. I attempted to make chocolate chip cookies tonight but burned them to epic disaster all thanks to the movie Mosquito Lake completely wrapping me up in my gigantic feather comforter. I've been extremely tired these past few days. I like hot chocolate a lot. I decided I'm participating in the Shoot the Hills competition this year (haven't done it since 2009) and it's turning into a nice camping trip with a few tag alongs.

A Beautiful Lie 2.0

Live It Up

Today I was hit with an important realization yet again of how vital it is we appreciate all the moments we are given in this lifetime. All the characteristics of your life right now, in this very moment, will never be the same even days from now. Years from now you'll find yourself in a completely different situation. 10 years, 20 years, 30? Time flies and you need to see this for a fact and take the time to do that extra drive you want to. Take the time to stay up late and be regretfully tired tomorrow morning to spend time with people and do the things you love. Explore the ideas of your mind and take steps to make your wishes become goals and help them become a reality.

I talked to a good friend of mine today and we both discussed how people just accept what comes to them in life. Why? Who ever made rules to follow by as to what your life should be lived like? Your parents? Maybe it's the fear of letting go of what you've always known. Maybe leaving something you've always been close with. But... what does your heart want? What do your soul want? Think about it.

And damnit, take VACATIONS!





“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”





This is someone I love very much. My best friend until the end.



Her and I rarely get days anymore where it's just us two doing a n y t h i n g. Today, we were lucky enough to put together one of those days last minute randomly when we both realized we had the day off :) We drove over 90 miles today through back roads that ultimately led us to a small highway along the Ohio River. Saw THIS amazing house:



And this small highway led us into the heart of Cincinnati as the sun started to set. We stopped off at Newport on the Levee to see the art gallery for local artists and got a couple snapshots of the new cityscape with the city's newest and most gorgeous skyscraper.


It's days like this that make me keep going, planning, and wanting to do more. Realizing that the important things in life are not money but family & friends. That all our measly problems are so small compared to the works of the entire universe. And that life is as short as taking a few simple breaths before you realize you've come to the end. Indulge in the daring. Live up for the future. And never be afraid at what's coming to you. No matter what it is.

-Brooke