Huge day.
For those of you who don't know about Paul (my husband) he is actually born and raised in England. We've been working on getting him citizenship here in the states so we can live together freely and never be separated ever again. But that's just the long story short.
Let's just start by saying this whole process started 4 years ago. Paul came over for his usual Christmas 3 week visit and we had decided that we were soooo tired of being apart. We were engaged already and decided to plan a winter wedding for that very same winter of 2008. After getting married and him applying for his fiance visa and obtaining some other "grants" for a longer stay, on his one year anniversary of being in the country (3 years ago) we went down to the federal building in Cincinnati to apply for his green card for permanent residency. That day is a whole story in itself.
His green card has allowed him to be here this whole time, but citizenship is what grants him the ability to have all rights as an American and he never ever has to worry about being deported for any reason. AND he doesn't have to renew anything every so many years and the like.
And that's just what we did yesterday.
Went down to the very same federal building, on the same floor, and in the same office where we applied for his green card and did the interview 3 years ago. He took his citizenship test (might I add once again almost on the exact DAY we started this whole process?!) in which he passed with flying colors. He will now be able to attend a ceremony in January where he will receive his citizenship certificate and be granted all the freedoms as an American.
This is such a huge step. And relief off both our shoulders. All the hard parts are now over and I'm sooooooo happy to see how far we have come! I cannot WAIT to attend the ceremony, invite everyone we know to come with, and all celebrate his newly obtained citizenship. Something we've been fighting for for 4 years.
To see his face glow with excitement makes me esctatic because I made that possible for him. I feel like in a way, our lives together are only now just beginning.
[[[Ok kids, Brooke is going into story time....... ***stop reading here if you don't want to feel sick from allllll the loveyness or you're A.D.D. has already taken you from this page.......... consider yourself warned.**]]]
Paul and I met nearly 8 years ago. I was 14 and he was 16. We met on this game called Star Wars Galaxies which is considered an "MMORPG" which stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game. Ever heard of WoW (aka World of Warcraft)? It's like that. Our characters names were Novice (Paul) and Larwin (me) and we played alllll the time together. We were in the same guild and took part in missions together between us and other guild members and for the first couple months of being on the game we came to be really good friends.... the whole guild and myself. Paul's character, Novice, was a weapons master in-game at the time and he supplied all the newbies to our guild with free weapons (which was me) and he kept me pretty well stocked with weapons, upgrades, and even armor eventually.
As time went on, I noticed when I would get home from school, Paul never stayed on the game very long while I was on... not much past 6 my time. I was driven with curiosity as to why he always got off so early and I learned that he was from England. ((No way!!)). Our time difference was 5 hours and later in our relationship, it DEFINITELY made it hard to talk sometimes! And me being a teenage American girl..... and even now *blushes*.... I'm still in LOVE with accents. I wanted to hear him talk!
Our guild had a voice chat server called Ventrilo that any guildies with the right password and username could log on and talk to any of the other guild members who were on. This made it so much easier to coordinate group missions, city plans, and even guild plans for recruiting and the like. (sounds super nerdy I know...). I will never forget when I got on there the first time I heard Paul's voice.... my heart literally MELTED into pieces. It wasn't just his accent but the sound of his voice was so soothing, gentle, and real. That was the first time I really realized that there was another person sitting behind the computer of Novice's character.... someone controlling his every move just like I was controlling my character in the game. That's when I started to crush on Paul super hard core and that was the summer of 2004. It took me a long time before I had the guts to ask my mom to buy me a microphone so I could talk to my "guild members" (who are we kidding all I wanted to talk to was him!!) but Paul was so sweet. He would log onto ventrilo and talk to me while I typed to him through the game and he would respond by voice back to me. It was amazing. That's when I realized that he was the sweetest boy I had ever met.
We spent hours talking about our countries. The differences between our Christmases. What American Thanksgiving is. Halloween. Our different foods. Drinks. What people were like. What our houses looked like. What was "normal" in our every day life. Hours. And hours. And hours. And neither of us ran out of things to say ever! I remember he asked me:
"What is Prom? Is that just something you guys have in your movies and tv shows?"
"WHAT?! You don't have Prom?! That's like one of the biggest moments of your life!"
"Nope. So it is real?"
"Of course! It's the one day girls can be a princess. Dress up real pretty and go and dance and stuff."
"Do you want to go to your Prom?"
"Well.... I don't dance and I guess if there's someone to go with at that time I don't see why not. But that's like 2 years away."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. It takes place in your Jr. & Sr. years of High School."
"If you want to go, and if we are still together by then, can I take you to your prom?"
"What? *blushes*blushes*blushes* That is so far away!"
"I know =) If we are still together then, I promise I will take you to your prom, Brooke."
And what did he do?
He kept his promise =) Something I will never forget. Literally.
Now back to the story.....
It was probably summertime we sent pictures of ourselves to each other of what we looked like IRL (in real life). These were the first pictures we ever sent each other:
So, then I stopped thinking in the back of my mind that he was a creepy 50 year old man preying on an innocent 14 year old. When I saw this photo, I knew things were real then and it was then I started falling hard. I showed everyone I knew at the time this picture and blushed whenever I saw it. And it was then we started sending each other pictures from our personal lives outside the game when trips happened, family events, get-togethers... whatever.
We kept talking, playing the game together, and growing more and more in love. That's when Paul mentioned the idea of him coming out for a visit. I was scared of the thought and he knew I was but I wanted to meet him so badly! Definitely being the age that I was, I told him I'd have to ask my parents first and that both our parents should talk to each other first about the idea and all that. What came to be a HUGE surprise, both our parents were SUPER supportive?! Agreed he'd stay in a hotel down the street from our house and my parents would be more than willing to be his personal driver. Pick him up in the mornings and take him back at night. So, on December 27th, he flew out here to the states and proceeded to engage on the most nerve-racking day I have ever come to know (even still!). Meeting him in real life was the loveliest, happiest, scariest, almost mental-breakdown-with-nervousness thing I have ever done. Even today. But man, I haven't been able to look away from him since.
Our "dating" occurred between 2004-2007. He was lucky enough to land a job as a janitor at a school which gave him off in the summer times and Christmas. He saved every "pent" he earned for his ticket costs out here just to come visit me during those times. It was definitely weird as a dating plan and no one else in high school was doing the same thing I was. In fact, when I tried to explain the story, I would get weird looks and rejected about the idea. It made me feel a bit of an outcast and love him even more for it to be honest. I knew I was doing something so different. Knowing he was going to be there each summer and each Christmas made all the waits worth it. Sometimes, we went 6-8 months not seeing each other. That's when we still relyed heavily on MMO's for us to "do something" together when we were apart. And we made it through all of that and still came out with a billion laughters to share.
Some people reject the idea of online dating. And... I didn't like the idea of it first. But when I met Paul, I realized that us playing Star Wars together, talking together, and doing everything but physically being near each other.... you gain a deeper knowledge of that person as a person. What they love. What they hate. What their favorite things in life are. What their goals are. Everything. You learn WHO they are on such a deeper level than when you meet someone in person somewhere. It's always the physical honeymoon phase that seems to come first and ultimately ends a relationship before it even has a chance to get started. And you don't even know who you are dating.
It's definitely important to LEARN about who you are dating. Love them for all that they are. Good and bad. And be willing to do anything for them in any sort of need. That's when you have true love. And believe that you can make it to the end of any obstacle you meet... together.
And that's just what we've done our whole lives together so far. And we really have come a looooong way since the first days of Star Wars Galaxies.
So... to continue the story....
In summer of 2007, Paul and I took a midnight walk together one hot night to walk up to the lake we always went to take a look at the stars together. It was a bad day that day with my family and I was super bummed. As always, he found a way to cheer me up by just talking to me and holding my hand the entire walk. We laid up there for a while and that's when he pulled out a little flashlight and a little box. He got down on one knee and proposed. I was shocked! I didn't know what to say at first startled by the sudden announcement he gave me. He was wearing the happiest face I had ever seen and of course I said yes, put the giant ring on my finger and we have moved from GF/BF to engaged. And fallen even harder for each other.
That year was fantastic. I had graduated high school. Paul came for an extra visit around Easter time (to take me to prom) with his family so I got to meet his mom, dad, and sister. Still came for his 3 month summer visit. Then we left TOGETHER to go to England. First time ever leaving this continent and I was sooooooooooooooo happy.
That's when we came back from England together, he stayed here for 2 weeks after and when we seperated that time, it was the hardest separation we had ever been through. For the both of us. I cried so much when he was gone I don't know I've shed so many tears since. It was only a month until he was back out for Christmas and when he came, that's when this whole green card process started. We were done being apart. We hired an Immigration Attorney to see what options we had and we went from there. Since we were already engaged and had been for almost 6 months, we decided to go ahead and get married in February on the 10th of 2008. Gave me time to plan a small, simple wedding, and that's just what we did : ) And for the past 4 years we haven't been apart for longer than maybe 4 days? We like it that way.
And that's our story.
We triumphed over a 4000 distance where we dated between 2 different countries for 4 years.
And lasted.
We ignored all the doubt thrown our way from friends, family, co-workers, practically everyone we knew telling us it wasn't going to last and there was no way he would ever even want to move here to be with me.
Well, he did it.
We fought together to stay together even through the roller coaster marriage offers to any couple and are about to celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary in February this year and in May we will have known each other for 8 years. I'm proud to say I'm Paul's wife. The meaning of the word beats every statistic known to man-kind right now. Young marriages can last. Long distances relationships can work. And most importantly, love IS real. You just have to believe and set your sights on the ending outcome. What can come out of this?
Paul, I love you with all my heart and soul. I'm still learning the depths of our relationship together and it's going to take a lifetime to understand the deepest meanings of our love together. And I'm excited to be able to share such a journey with you. Thank you for being my best friend, my first boyfriend, my fiance, and the most honorable, trust-worthy husband in my life. You have led me through an adventurous life so far and I'm excited to start our next chapter together <3
Brooke


















7 comments:
Love it! I'm so happy for you guys :) it is amazing how it all turned out! and for me and Dereck too! I still can't believe how far we've all come. I love you both and wish you a lifetime of happiness <3
Lovely written, as usual, but maybe a little bit more lovely than usual, now that I think about it :-)
I think it's true what you're saying about online dating making it possible to get to know a person better than real life dating...
Usually, there's two types of girls around here... the ones who're attracted to that boyish-looking surfer type of guy with skin as soft as that of a baby... which is definitely not me. And the kind of girl who likes masculine men. With all the stories I have to tell and stuff, I usually don't get past the first date without that second kind of girl having started to be attracted to me. I'd be a liar if I said that I haven't taken advantage of that, but it doesn't give me long lasting satisfaction like a relationship would. Girls just can't take it slow in this part of the world. And then they either think about a relationship after the first night already, or it doesn't ever get past the physical part even if I might be interested in a relationship. I like your old-fashioned American kind of dating (although with a modern twist a.k.a. internet hahah) without being in a hurry. I feel like they never really get to know the real me and all the things I believe in that make me who I am...
So, what I'm saying is that, you've found what I'm looking for (not Paul, that is! lol, but you know what I mean) and you can call yourself extremely lucky...
Yeah Dom it's tough! I don't know how I got so lucky D: He and I have definitely been through our own roller coaster but it has always been something we've managed to get through together.
I think its hard at our age in general to find someone that is ready for commitment. Even here. Sounds worse there tho :( I grew up knowing that I didn't want to date a TON of guys. I remember telling myself at 12 years old I'd rather be single than waste my time with someone who didn't want the same thing as me. How I met someone 4000 miles away that wanted that still boggles my mind. The odds always work out for those who are looking, but aren't searching for it it seems.
So, this is me saying you are still young and plenty of time to find that someone! I think as you grow older the odds will work better in your favor. Maybe you could always find yourself a cute American girl ;)
Hahaha, a cute American girl... well, who knows. Send one over here Brooke! :-)
Actually, I'm not really looking for a relationship right now... but thanks!
Of all the girls I've met, there might have been like six that could - in my opinion - have been a potential long-term partner. There's one that's no longer talking to me. The other five girls are good friends of mine who mean a lot to me, and I would never risk losing that friendship by telling them that we might be / could've been more than just friends. Another friend (who I was able to talk about that issue because she's got a great boyfriend already) told me that I might regret not ever asking them out on a date or telling them about my feelings, maybe because the reason the first girl hasn't written to me or called me or whatever in more than three years is that I put her under pressure because I told her that we could be more than friends.
Some guy friends of me have said that if these are the only worries I have, I really shouldn't complain lol, but I'm not that easy a guy... I just think a lot about what I do and what I want.
btw: next week I'm off Monday, Tuesday, and Friday... I could devote Thursday evening / night to a skype session! :-)
Well! It does sound like you think about this a lot! Sometimes, I guess, overthinking can be even worse! That's my biggest problem in life most of the time.
But! Like I said, when the time is right, you'll know and you won't even be second guessing.
And um.... I will need to try and get on one of those days!! I never get my schedule for my following week until Saturday -_- So I'll be able to see here soon what days we could possible skype!!
Sorry for not making it onto skype this past week... it was the first week of university since the holidays and I had totally forgotten about that boring class lol.
I'll let you know (soon as I know it myself) when I'll be off in the coming week, we really gotta skype lol)!
And yeah, you're probably right when you say I thought about this a lot, but I think a lot about [almost] everything...
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